Parenting

A few months ago I was watering up next to the house and Presley was playing in the yard. She knew at the time not to go in the street. I looked up and saw a truck racing down the street, and I told Presley to get away from the street and on the sidewalk, but she was trying to open up and look into the mailbox while standing on the curb, so I yelled again for her to back away from the street. She kept standing on the curb trying to open the mailbox, so I ran over and grabbed her arm and picked her whole body up and threw her in the air and caught her and set her down back on the grass on the other side of the sidewalk. I did it very forcefully on purpose to scare her, and she started crying.

Me:  Presley, I told you to get away from the street! ! ! ! ! 

P1:  (while crying) I wasn't in the street. I was standing on the curb.

(Visions of me pushing the envelope as far as I could when I was a child came back to me at that moment. I can often times remember pushing the envelope as far as I could to the very edge, but not going over the edge, then getting upset when I got in trouble for it.)

Me:  But I told you to back away from the street! ! ! ! You have to listen to me! ! ! ! !

P1:  I wasn't in the street. (still crying)

(At this point I feel bad for grabbing her so forcefully plus her mother is giving me a "you're over-reacting" look.)
(I took a deep breath and explained to Presley why it was so important.)

Me:  Hey, did I hurt you or scare you?

P1:  Scared me.

Me:  I'm sorry, but let me tell  you why I wanted you off the curb. Did you see that truck coming down the road? (She nodded.) Well what if you were standing on the curb and you fell? You would fall out into the street and the car could hit you, but if you're back on the sidewalk, like daddy was asking you to, then if you fall, you're just on the grass, but not in the street. Make sense?

P1:  Yes. (she has stopped crying at this point.)

Me: I'm sorry I scared you, but I just don't want you to get hit by a car because I love you so much. Can I have a hug and a kiss? (Hug. Kiss) I love you.

P1:  Love you too.

At times, I think the hardest thing about parenting is knowing what to do and when to do it. When do you let your child cry it out? When do you let them "win" because it just is not worth it at that moment? (Etc., etc., etc.)

Sometimes I wonder if I am too hard on one of the girls about some thing, but sometimes, I get rewarded by proof that I got through to them, and it makes it all worth while:

A month later I was walking with the girls around the neighborhood, and Paxten was riding in the car, but Presley was walking, and she wanted to run across the street to get to our house. I told her she could not do that, but once we crossed the street, she could run all the way down the sidewalk to our house. After we crossed the street, I told her she could run to the house. Right about that time Paxten said something to me, and so I looked down and responded. My head was down for about 5 seconds, and when I looked up, Presley was FROZEN on the sidewalk right in front of our neighbors driveway because their garage door was coming up, and they had already started backing out. As I realized what was going on, I yelled for her to stay there, which she did. I was so proud of her. I was so proud of me. Maybe this is not a big deal, but I felt like she understood to stay away from moving cars and on the sidewalk, and it was all because of that incident a month earlier. When we got back to the house, we stood in a circle and I told Lora what happened and Presley got a round of applause from everyone... even Paxten. I love my family and my safe little girl.